You Made Me Forget My Dreams
by white orchids
Summary: Response to WIKTT "hollow man" Challenge: Severus has had his memories and emotions sucked away and someone must retrieve them from MOM while Hermione copes with more than one future that has been dealt to her
1. chapter 1

Authors note: In response to WIKTT "Hollow Man" challenge. I make no money from this, although I wish I thought of it first. Please review.

Chapter One

September 5th. Minerva McGonagall sat behind her large oak desk, retaining the title of Deputy Headmistress, despite the fact that Dumbledore was missing and most of the wizarding world had feared the worse about his fate. It was barely a month after the final battle had been fought and Hermione Granger was the only first hand testimony that the Hogwarts trio (also consisting of Harry Potter and Ron Weasley) ever existed. Hermione was barely 19 and by default was kicked totally out of her nest by Voldemort's Death Eaters. They had killed her parents in late June and ever since Hermione had taken refuge behind the large and protective halls of Hogwarts. Until a month ago Hogwarts also protected one of the most brilliant potions masters of their generation. His fate was why Hermione had been called to Minerva McGonagall's office that evening. 

* * *

The Ministry of Magic had decided to play god to a small group of men. Mulicber, Rookwood, Malfoy, Dolohov to name a few of them, one in particular the Minister, Cornelius Fudge, was very happy to finally take care of, Severus Snape. After the exodus of the Dementors of the wizard prison Azkaban, Fudge took it upon himself and a select few to punish the imprisoned Death Eaters personally. Inanis animae. Empty of soul. This was the punishment they were to receive. To have almost all of their soul removed and placed in the department of mysteries for the rest of their unnatural lives. 

* * *

Severus Snape sat in his individual cell, scarcely larger than a broom closet. He had been given the luxury of two pots, one of water and the other empty, cleaned on a weekly basis, a small stool and the candle stubs Arthur Weasley brought him on a daily basis. In fact Arthur had just left him for the last time. Arthur had come in early to sit with Severus and explain the curse, though Severus wasn't stupid and knew full well what was about to happen to him. The dim yellow light flickered in the dank corner of his tiny cell as Severus rose for what seemed like the millionth time to pace, only to turn and sit back down. 

'I deserve everything I have coming to me' he though to himself soon after Arthur had left him. 'In a matter of hours I will be reduced to a mere shell of myself' he smirked 'Of course, it might be quite an improvement.'

Severus folded his hands together in his lap and leaned his head against the cold stone wall, chips of dirt, paint and rock fell onto his shoulders. 

'What are you doing now Hermione?' He thought to himself. 

Most of his days were dwindled away with thoughts similar to this one. Days and nights passed unnoticed to the Potions Master as he thought of Hermione. 

~~~~Flash Back~~~~~~

"Life is like a snowflake Severus." 

"A what?" 

Hermione held out her gloved hands to catch a falling snowflake.

"Like this! Strong enough to make great journeys, but weak enough to collapse under the tiniest bit of pressure of heat. Like a snowflake."

He watched as she twirled around beneath the gray sky, trying to catch snowflakes on her tongue. All at once Hogwarts most brilliant student and still a little girl inside. 

~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus thought of her eyes looking at him with disregard. Not the discouraging kind, like she didn't care, but the kind of disregard directed towards his past. He thought of her eyes as the guards picked him up under his arms and drug him from the cell. Down the stairs to the Wizengamot. 

'thump thump thump' his legs went. 'Like a snowflake Severus' His mind thought.

'BLAH BLAH BLAH' how Fudge went.

'Severus... don't leave me. Please. I don't want to be alone tonight... Severus... Snowflakes..." His mind raced with thoughts of Hermione as Fudge lowered his wand towards him. Severus looked towards Arthur. 

"Anything to say Snape? Before you're dead to the world?" Fudge's lip curled as he snarled out the mandatory permission for final words. Severus truned his head back towards Arthur. Never breaking eye contact he opened his mouth and spoke.

"Tell Hermione she's not alone tonight." 

And Severus lost his humanity with a smile on his face and "Hermione" on his lips.

* * *

Hermione felt a shiver run up her spine as the doors to Minerva's office swung open and Arthur Weasley walked in. Hermione turned quickly to see that Arthur was not alone. Just a few paces behind him Severus limped into the torch light of McGonagall's private office. With a small gasp the world stood still for what seemed like hours. The once proud and tall potions master was reduced to a stumbling ogre. His dark, lank hair stuck to the sides of his face and his skin was stretched over a skeletal build she was definitely sure Severus didn't have. He was stooped and had a swagger from a terrible limp. Hermione hadn't imagined all of the terrible things that would have happened to him physically. After listening to all that McGonagall had told her, she agreed to take Severus into her home, but after having him brough to her like this, she wasn't quite sure she was up to the task. 

"Ar... Ar... Arthur." Hermione stumbled for words.

"Hermione, trust me this is the right thing to do." McGonagall put her bony hands around Hermione's shoulder's. "Severus knows many secrets. If there is even a small chance he can be restored he has that chance with you. He could know where Dumbledore is. That thought alone should sustain you through any doubts you may have with this mission."

Hermione straightened her robes and stood taller. She took long gliding steps towards Severus but stopped short when she looked into his eyes. They were shrunken and dull, his entire face looked as if he had had a run in with a witch doctor, and not the type in St. Mungo's. Stretching her neck again, Hermione took Severus's forearm and lead him to follow her.

"Thank you Arthur. Very much." Arthur closed his eyes and nodded. 

After Hermione had left Minerva turned to Arthur with a look in her eye he read well.

"He said she's not alone. And I believe him, Minerva. I truly believe him."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

What do you think? Reviews please! ***Kowtows ***


	2. chapter 2

Authors note: In response to WIKTT "Hollow Man" challenge. I make no money from this, although I wish I thought of it first. Please review.

Chapter Two

Hermione quickly lit a fire in the black marble fireplace of her study. Pulling two burgundy wing back chairs together she instructed Severus to sit and he did so. She looked at him curiously and he stared back at her. Not into her eyes as he had before. Simply at her. His twisted mouth was slightly agape and he looked a little bit like the figure in Munch's "The Scream". Hermione said nothing but watched him for a moment before she leaned forward and put his hands in hers. He blinked and looked down, no flicker of familiarity at all, simply acknowledgment. If it was even that. The fire reflected in his hollow eyes and gave them the dancing look he had had with her before. Hermione smiled slightly and willed herself to be transported back into her memory just months before. Before the fall of Voldemort, right after her graduation. She wanted nothing more than to break into the ministry and steal a time turner and bring her and Severus back, for forward, somewhere where he was back the way he was before. Sneering and belittling to those who he perceived as the most threatening to him. Hermione cocked her head to the side and tried to look deeper into his eyes. She could see life, in the most biological sense. Blood coursing through veins, heart pumping, brain functioning. Nothing beyond that though, no feeling, no hope, no glimmer of mischief he had reserved only for her to see. 

"Severus..." Hermione let his name curl off of her tongue. 

"yes." He replied in a robotic tone that sent chills up her spine. 

"Can you please get me a few crackers from the kitchen" she said quickly, feeling bad for saying his name for no reason really. Then feeling immediately worse for ordering him around like a common house elf. He rose and walked off to the kitchen. Hermione leaned back in the plush chair and folded her hands over her belly. She didn't know what to do. She couldn't take him back, she needed him here with her, the order needed him. As soon as the excitement had died down she had to get into the Department of Mysteries. That's where the souls of the victims were stored. Everyone in the Order knew that. It was Hermione's job to get Severus his back. Her stomach lurched with nervousness that made her jump up and make a run for the toilet. 

Hermione emptied the meager contents of her stomach and rinsed her mouth out with water before she brushed her teeth. She closed her eyes and turned to see him standing in the doorway, no longer the formidable man she had once known. Her small 5'3" stature next to him was even more diminished. She drew herself up straight and looked at him. He tilted his head and looked down to her as she approached him. 

"Severus, what happened to you? What happened to the man behind those big dark eyes?" she smiled. "The man who loved me." She whispered. 

"Would you like cheese?"

"What?" Hermione took a step backward.

"For your crackers?" He turned and left back to the kitchen, taking Hermione's saltines with him. 

* * *

A week had passed quickly into two and Hermione had so many questions about what to expect from Severus she wasn't quite sure who could answer them all. She trusted Severus could manage on his own, he didn't do much but stare at books when he wasn't busy doing something for her. She didn't know if he could still read or not since she had to turn the pages for him. On his two week anniversary of non existence, Hermione made a short trip to the Burrow to speak with Arthur. She had quite a few questions that needed to be answered.

"Arthur? Molly?" Hermione called through the kitchen window. George looked up from the sink quickly and smiled.

"Hullo Hermione! Come in, how are you?" 

"Fine, a little bit nauseous, but apparation has never really agreed with me." She smiled warmly.

"Sit down, make yourself comfortable. I'll get Dad for you, since it's him you probably want to see." George left the room in one direction and Arthur came in from the shed in the back.

"Oh Hermione! How are you?" 

"Fine, George just went looking for you." 

"He did?" Arthur looked over his shoulder towards the living room and made to leave before Hermione continued.

"I wanted to see you. That's why I'm here. That's why George went to find you." 

"Why's that?"

"I have a few questions."

Arthur sat down across the table from her and listened intently to what she had to say.

"Severus... It's like... he has no personality. It doesn't sound like him when he speaks, he walks differently, he has no feelings. I talk to him at dinner about... things and he says nothing. He doesn't react. But, sometimes he'll say something that... makes me wonder..." Hermione's fragmented story left Arthur in a mess of confusion.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"The first night I brought him home I had him bring me crackers. He brought them to me and I spoke to him for only a few moments and he asked me if I wanted cheese."

"Ah! He's working perfectly then!"

"That's not it. I didn't ask for the cheese. That's the point. Severus knew before I couldn't eat crackers without some cheese on them. I love cheese! It's like... how can I explain this... He's like a mobile phone!" She burst out, leaving Arthur only more confused.  
"A cellular phone has two memory options. Save to mobile, or to SIM card. If you save your information to the SIM, it can be removed and lost forever, but if you save it to the mobile, you have the information as long as you have the mobile. Understand?

"So the Ministry has his mobile?" Arthur jumped up from his chair. 

"No!" Hermione laughed for the first time in weeks. Arthur smiled at her.

"It's good to hear you laugh Hermione." 

"It feels good to laugh."

"You know, he will retain some information. Little things, trivial at first, of no real importance. He knows who it is talking to him. Like a coma victim, he can hear you. He understands everything, even if he doesn't react the way you want him to. He might not remember an anniversary or the first time you two... well we're all adults here. However he remembers about cheese and maybe he'll remember Jay. Give it time. He's a fighter Hermione." Arthur helped her up from her seat and leaned in to whisper in her ear.  
"He's a fighter, and he's fighting for you." 

"Dad! There you are!" George walked back into the kitchen.

"I see you found him Hermione." Hermione blinked back tears and smiled. 

"Yeah. Thanks Arthur for your help. I'll see you two later." Hermione stepped out of the Burrow and into the sunlight with a chip the size of Texas lifted off of her shoulder. With a 'pop' Hermione was quickly back onto the grounds of Severus's mansion, where she was living. 

"Severus?" She walked through rooms looking for him, only to find him in the bath tub. He looked at her and said, matter-of-factly,

"I'm taking a bath."

"Yes, I see that Severus." She smiled at him. He smiled back, but it was an automatic response, not one of feeling or emotion, she'd come to realize this the hard way. Severus did not stand up for her, or make any offer of service, only sat in the bubbly water and stared at her intently.   
"Dinner is at 8 sharp." Hermione said after a period of silence. He nodded slowly and continued to soak in the tub. Hermione stood up from the side of the bath and left him there. She was definitely going to need a plan for action. She needed him back. She couldn't rely on a few off beat memories he had lurking around in the attic. She was going to need to get into the Department of Mysteries, soon if she was to have chance at a future with him. 


	3. chapter 3

Authors note: In response to WIKTT "Hollow Man" challenge. I make no money from this, although I wish I thought of it first. Please review.

I just want to thank highland-mist and Dragonmaster Kurai for their reviews. :-) My goal for the week is to type three more chapters, so I can post them on a better schedule.

Sorry this chapter is a lot of talking, not a lot of action. I feel that the original reason for the order trying to restore Severus needs to be addressed. So far we've only seen Hermione's selfishness in wanting Sev back. This chapter is more about the Order and the current situation with a little surprise at the end.

A/N: when Hermione tells Severus their ages, Hermione is 17 at graduation in 1998, turning 18 in September. Severus is 21 years older than the "golden trio". Everyone depicts Sevvy as some decrepit old man but he's only as old as Harry's parents, who are always magically shown as young and pretty. I chose 21 because I thought it was a nice young age, without being too dramatically young. My dad was 21 when I was born.

Chapter Three

Two months had passed and the Order was becoming restless. Ideas had been made known on how to break into the department of mysteries, but none of them could really hold water. They needed someone who could get in and out quickly, someone well versed in the dark arts and how to defend themselves against it, someone nobody would suspect. They needed Severus to save his own life, and they didn't know how they could accomplish this. Around the well worn table of the Black house at 12 Grimmauld Place sat, at the head, of course, Arthur Weasley. To his right was Bill, then Kingsley Shacklebolt, Tonks, Ginny Weasley, Hermione, Severus sat at the opposite end of the table. Next to him Professor McGonagall, Draco Malfoy, Cho Chang, and twins, Fred and George Weasley. Those who were missing from the meeting were of course out on business for the Order, but it didn't matter much since as soon as they came back another meeting would take place to fill them in on what had been shared and offer them a chance to voice their opinions. Unfortunately Hermione and Severus had to be present for all meetings and the prospect of how many more meetings it would take bored Hermione to tears. She looked over at Severus who was attempting to turn a large lamp into a turtle, and sighed, audibly.

"_Demua testudineus_!" The light flickered slightly before the lamp crashed to the ground. 22 eyes fell onto Severus.

"Severus why don't you go into the kitchen and play with Crookshanks. He likes you you know." Severus nodded, dropped his wand and left. "He's just like a child sometimes." Hermione shook her head as she picked up his wand off of the floor.

"I hate seeing him like this." Draco shook his head and leaned back in his chair. "It's too much. That man in there used to scare the socks off of us. Now... now he's trying to turn a lamp into an effing turtle."

"We need to get him back. We need Dumbledore back with us and the only way for that to happen is to find a way to restore Severus to his former self." Bill stated firmly before continuing. "I've spoken to Penelope Clearwater, you know her," Her nodded to Hermione, "She says that while it is fully possible to restore Snape's mind she can't guarantee that he'll be normal ever again. Information retrieval will be easier, but the chances of him being his old, snarky self, slim to none."

"We need to do what needs to be done then. We can't risk that Dumbledore has been taken by the enemy on the same coin we can't assume he's hiding in safety." Ms. Chang offered.

"Voldemort may be gone but his faithful followers are beginning to infiltrate the foundation of our world." Minerva McGonagall nodded to everyone present.

"We can't let them take the school." Fred and George said in unison.

Kingsley continued with the thought everyone had tried to avoid, "We are in a state of disarray. We need Albus to return this world to it's usual state of prosperity. As corny as it sounds, iot's needed now more than ever, and Dumbledore is the only one who can assure the wizarding world of that."

"I believe what they are trying to say Hermione, is that ultimately his is your decision. He's in your care, he was before and he is now. You probably know more about him than Dumbledore does." Arthur looked at Hermione.

"So the decision lies with me, on the future of this world and the muggle world? In my hands? In my heart."

The room grew silent with anticipation of her choice. Granted the average person would have said 'to hell with it' and sacrificed Severus on the alter of decency just to obtain a few lines of information, but for Hermione it was different. It wasn't a question of revenge for him being a bastard, or sympathy. It was a matter of her heart and the soul of all that the wizarding world held dear. Dumbledore was the anchor in this time of trouble and for the bast few months they had been in a tailspin. What could she do?

"I'll do it." She said quietly.

"You'll let us restore him?" Tonks edged up in her seat with a large smile on her face.

"No. I'll restore him."

"Hermione, I insist on letting one of us handle this. You're not in any situation to be handling this type of emotional or physical stress." Arthur objected.

"What? Arthur, I think I'm perfectly fit for this task, please, I insist."

"I will not allow this Hermione, for your sake and for his and well, for all of our sakes Hermione, I will not allow you to accompany us on this mission."

"Fine." Hermione rose quickly, her seat falling backwards with a crash. She left it on the floor as she made her way to the kitchen to retrieve Severus. Then i will not allow the mission to go on as planned at all." She wrapped her arms around his waist and apparated back to her home.

"What a lovely change in scenery." Severus smiled and wandered off once the dizzying feeling of apparation had worn off. Hermione was feeling rather sickly again, but the feeling quickly subsided.

She quickly walked towards a room off to the side of the receiving hall and threw open the doors to reveal a large study area with a light dusting of cobwebs and a heavy blanket of darkness descended upon it. A quick "_Inscendio_" gave the room a warm light it hadn't seen in a long while. In the corner of the room, beneath a window that had been boarded shut sat a small oak chest. With no lock in her way it opened with little noise to show off it's meager bounty. Several brown packages that Hermione quickly removed to show the real treasure. A luscious silvery cloak that looked no older than a couple of years and showed no signs of wear, tear or aging.   
"A miracle" she whispered to herself. As she rose from one knee one of the paper bags on her lap slid to the stone floor and it's contents came crashing out. A golden picture frame. Bending at her knees Hermione tried to pick up the glass but instead cut herself deeply. Severus, who had been watching for part of the time rushed to her side when he heard her exclamation.

"Shit!"

"What's wrong?"

"I cut myself you overgrown bat." She snapped and pressed the edges of the wound together in a futile attempt to curb the blood flow. Severus disregarded her comment, like he did so much of what she said to him as he stopped down and picked up the picture that had been behind the offending glass.

"What is this?" He asked.

"It's a picture of me."

"Who is with you?"

"Haven't you looked in a mirror lately?" Hermione quipped, become agitated.

"What?"

"It's you! It's a picture of you and me."

"When was this taken?"

"Almost three months ago. It says it on the back of the picture."

_1 February 2001_

"How long have we been friends Hermione?" Severus looked up into her eyes and asked.

"We have been friends for about 3 years Severus."

"Three years? How old are you Hermione?"

"I'm 20. I'll be 21 in September. You're 42 years old Severus." She answered his asked as well as unasked questions.   
"I kept all of these pictures in this trunk to avoid any questions. I understood you wouldn't remember most of this and I didn't want you to be uncomfortable in my presence."

"I would like it if you sat them out."

"Can you like Severus? Can you really appreciate it? What happened to you, on that day?" Hermione walked over to where he was standing and looked him in the eyes. "Sometimes you react and I think it's like old times, but I know it's just a learned behavior from being around so many people. I often wonder how the old you would have reacted if he knew this was how he would have been spending his life. If he would have wanted me to kill him and be rid of it, or if he would have fought to live again. Would you fight for me?" She whispered.

"Who would I be fighting?"

She looked up into his eyes and reached her hand around his neck to pull him closer to her.

"Look into my eyes Severus. Look at me. Can you see anything?"

"I see Hermione. Hello Hermione."

Tears sprang to her eyes as she pulled him down closer towards her and kissed him, hard of the cheeks, lips and eyelids, smothering him with kisses. When she pulled away he looked at her and his brow furrowed.

"Hermione, you've put on a bit a weight haven't you?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and backed off. Turning twice she balled her hands into fists at her side and screamed. When she was done she looked at him and grabbed his hand and placed it over her robes on her blossoming belly.

"I'm pregnant Severus. That picture was taken the day I told you. Jay, remember? Jack for a boy, Juli for a girl. Stars in your eyes, Angels in the skies, wind in your hair..."

"I'll always be there..." He finished for her.

Hermione backed up and opened the cloak she had first gone into the oak chest to grab. She spun it onto her shoulders and stared at Severus.   
"You'll never be there."

She spun on her heels and left for the Ministry of Magic, unsure if she would ever see him again.


End file.
